Pleasure and Moderation

I like pleasures. They please me.
Pleasures can be indulged in - at times, pleasures are necessary.
And when they are necessary, I usually find myself uniquely positioned enjoy them - ample time, great location, in a wonderful way. It is like the universe is arranging itself for me to take that moment and simply enjoy.
A lot of times I desire something when it is not what I really want. Often, the fact that a certain delectation would be too much, or that a type of thrill would be inappropriate for the time and place, perversely motivates me to partake of it. My mind tests the resolve of my intellect - how strong is the refusal?
Sometimes I give in. These are the moments of pure enjoyment for now - fuck all future nows, those are laters... I usually regret this, begrudgingly accepting it as yet another mistake made.
Sometimes I hold out. I usually don't regret this later. Because the desire has been resisted, my mind yearns to renew it later, with full force. And satisfying that resurfacing intensifies the indulgence.
I could imagine that pushing the desire under consciousness enough times will eventually sink it forever - this must be the way of sages, true jnana yogis. But to follow that path, a greater desire must motivate you - the desire to lose desire, ascetism.
I have never desired to lose all desires - though most are unnecessary. I have desired always to do, to accomplish in this world, and sometimes that doing encompasses pleasurable activities.
I eventually give in - my mind deserves some satisfaction. But the best time to give in when the stars are aligned, when everything is in its right place, when it seems that all my life, all I have ever wanted, was to be right here, right now, doing this.
That is a pleasure worth waiting for.