Thursday, April 11, 2013

The Point of Dialogue


Once, I was in traffic, at 3 pm, leaving Houston. I had been trying to leave from 10 am, but had delayed myself with distractions. And then I got stuck in rush hour.

I was very angry. However, I did not realize my anger until I vocalized it.

'Fuck!'

And once I had vocalized my anger, I stated aloud what was bothering me.

'I am angry that I am in this traffic right now.'

But no, that wasn't quite right, was it?

'I am angry at myself for not leaving earlier.'

But, that was in the past; what was the point of being angry now? Anger over a past decision is unnecessary.

Huh. The only thing I can do is take a lesson from it.

And when I realized that, the anger was gone. And I realized the situation had never been bad in the first place. I was in my car (and I enjoy being in my car) and there was a nice NPR broadcast (and I enjoy NPR).

My anger at the situation had been the very thing causing the anger! Once it had been discovered, it had shriveled and died.

And left, unobscured, the present moment, laid out shining on the freeway in a sun-soaked Houston afternoon.