Learning to Listen Again

I have felt its absence. This is evident in my previous blog posts.
Focusing on improving myself - am I not already as I should be?
I am even pretentious in my approach to this blog, seeking to improve others, to write intelligent, relevant articles. Others do not need my help - they are as they have been made, in the current moment.
I do not seek to improve. I do not strive for excellence - thus, I am excellent.
God, the Tao has been absent from my life for so long. How has it taken me so long to realize this?
Perhaps it was the absence of music. I used to pursue music. What happened to that?
I stopped listening, even caring for listening. I made pitiful stabs at melodies.
Perhaps I don't do justice to my recent attempts... What I do feel negative about, is the attitude with which my latest attempts have been made. It has been forced a lot of times, motivated by desire for music mastery, rather than resulting from my inner self expressing thoughts and feelings in one of the few languages it can speak: song.
Music flows, when it is made from the anima.

Jung described an anima and animus creating the inner core of a person's true self, whereas his persona represents the outer (conscious) aspects. I feel that there is some truth to this model; at times in my life, I have felt motivated by forces beyond what I am consciously aware of. I could call these unconscious motivations a sort of psyche...
Lately I feel that my persona has been obscuring these motivations. My financial desires - these are inventions of my persona, not my anima. And when the external desires are in focus, my view of the primal self is obscured.
I could probably equate this primal self with the silent observer. How false this blog's name is! The last several posts have not been the voice of the observer at all - they have been the rantings of my outer self, which, of course, is not worth listening to.

My goal: listen.